Lisa Donmall-Reeve

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Point Break

It has been a frustratingly emotional end of the week in the world of Lisa Donmall-Reeve NYC. There is a hurdle I keep coming up against that is proving to be almost impossible to clear. Each time I fail to jump over it, I get knocked further back…I take a moment, re gain my strength and start to explore new ways to help me accomplish this goal.

3 years into living in NYC and I still struggle to get into the room. The room being the audition room. The people with the key ,being the casting directors. Now, don’t get me wrong. I feel no special privilege…I am no diva…I have done and do pound the pavements and work the system as much as I know how. But still 3 years in, I feel like I am no closer to obtaining the special code that gets you seen!

Little bit of history, I got myself here. I had a dream and I ran with it and made it happen. I didn’t marry an American, I didn’t get brought over with a show. We arrived with 2 suitcases and some savings and nothing lined up. I wondered why people were calling me brave! It was very clear to me that it was the right thing to do ,so brave always felt a little insulting,like they didn’t really believe I could ‘make it’ over here. I now understand what they meant!

I do sometimes wonder if my transition from West End to Broadway would have been smoother were I 10 years younger. But there are 2 main reasons why I know this happened when it happened. One is my husband. I would not have met him yet and I could not nor would not want to , be doing this journey without him. The second is mental strength. I don’t think my younger self could have handled the inner strength you need for this city.

So,here is my question….when do you say enough? What is your breaking point? When does your mental happiness become a bigger priority?

After some bad news this week,I had an acting class. The acting coach asked us to describe our career at this moment in a metaphor. THEN once we had done that, now change it so you change that scene. I dug my heels in….came out the metaphor,cried,got angry because I couldn’t see a way, realistically, to believe a change would work. She forced me to stick with the metaphor (a room with a dream that has chains around it and other people can get in but not me)

There were many ways ,metaphorically, to get in, chain saw, knock the wall down, But i said….I will build my own room right next door,and everyone in the other room will want to come into my MY room.

I am still frustrated at the system. I am still struggling with the power that is in another persons hands on whether they think you are ‘right’ to get into the room. Notice I didn’t type the word ‘talent’ . I am learning that may not be top of the list.I am not asking to book every job ( although…who wouldn’t want that) I am asking to be CONSIDERED….Let me talent be allowed to play! The decide if I am right…or not.

I have no answers for this blog. Just simply sharing. I am not at my personal breaking point yet. The inner strength I find after each set back always astounds me,as does the support from my husband and friends and family that I share those tough moments with. My dream for Broadway and performing is a strong and passionate one. But what is the long term damage? Being older is better because you have knowledge and experience to help you understand but being older is sometimes cruel because you have the knowledge and experience and you understand but you DON’T get it…

#keeponkeepingon #driveandpassion #buildingmyownroom #goodforthebook #idonotfail #thetortoisewonintheend #watchthisspace